Junior year. It's been tough and crazy. It's amazing how much of your life seems to depend on these years of high school. I can't believe that just next school year...really just about another 5 months...college apps will need to be filled and everything I've done in high school will be evaluated. How am I supposed to compete with super geniuses? How am I supposed to compete with people who have achieved so much more than me? How could I be better compared to everyone else? Some people say that your life does not depends entirely on getting into an amazing college, but how can it not? Why would a CEO hire you if someone else has gone to a better ranked college? Even if you have a natural talent or are more suited for the job, a better ranking is simply a better ranking. I remember my father telling me that when he was going through job applications, he would simply skip over anyone who went to San Jose State. Why should he hire them when he had someone from a UC applying? "Even if you don't get into the college you wanted to get into now, you can go to community college and apply later". But that just means you're in college for a longer period of time. You have set back your life by at least another two years. So much can happen in two years...
I don't feel ready to go to college. I don't feel prepared to head out into the real world. I don't feel excited that I could leave home. I just feel anxious and worried. Because by the time college is over, I'm supposed to be an adult. I've never thought of myself as weak, not mentally nor physically, but how am I supposed to take up the responsibilities of an adult? Is it because I'm still young, or is this a sign that the medical field is really not for me?
What even happened to junior year? I feel like it passed so quickly. I honestly still feel like I'm flailing to survive my physics class; how did I never grasp it? Sure some of the days in the weeks seemed to pass by slowly, but overall...what happened to the year? Was I not just picking out notebooks to use for each class? Now I'm here with the covers of my notebooks falling off and pages full of concepts that I hardly remember.
I don't want to be a senior. I don't want to have a year left to figure out what I'm doing - wait, I don't even have that. I may be excited for summer, but I don't want high school to end. I don't want high school and all its comforts and familiarity to be gone. I got high school. I understood how to get by (sort of). I suppose I have another year to prepare myself for something that I don't know how to prepare for though.
ohmygosh, that's exactly how I feel. It's scary, but exciting at the same time! I'm sure you'll be fine!
ReplyDeleteYou have remember that most of us are feeling just as stressed and scared as you do! It's really scary heading out into the "real world" but it's inevitable. I'm confident that you'll succeed and be happy!
ReplyDeletei feel like so many of us could relate to this including me, i honestly couldn't have said it in better words. It is scary but you have to know that your capable of anything so you will be fine.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, so much is being thrown at us so fast and we are just supposed to "get it" immediately. It really isn't fair, however I feel that we are really more prepared than we think, and we just feel so overwhelmed that we don't realize how prepared we actually are.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree!! We have to make so many decisions so fast. You are definitely prepared to face whatever comes your way though!
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